Becoming angry is obviously an unpleasant experience for everybody. When angry, we feel hot, unable to breathe normally and so uncomfortable. Of course, these and other undesirable feelings are the natural reactions of our bodies to situations in which one faces unwanted conducts and/or conditions. But the feelings of anger, like other natural feelings, can and should be controlled and directed properly, otherwise, very harmful results will be experienced, both by the person who, for any reason, has become angry and by the others around.

There are some people who get angry frequently and worse, are not able to overcome their anger when they need to do so. Such people usually have few, if any, friends, because nobody likes to have a friend who is mostly resentful and intolerable. And on the contrary, calm, kind and tolerant persons can have many friends, just because of their good temper.

This is a fact and should be remembered by all of us who, as human beings, need to communicate with others in proper and beneficial ways in order to find good friends. As Imam Ali (as) has advised, “Try to find good, sincere friends for yourselves, for, otherwise you will have no choice but to make friends with bad people.”

Of course, as we know, this world’s life is not a piece of cake, all sweet and soft. Rather, it has its hard times and so should be tolerated with wisdom and patience. Even as children, we may have experienced bitter moments of anger and displeasure, when, for example, we imagined our parents loved our younger brother or sister more than they loved us or when a sibling annoyed us (unintentionally, no doubt) by tearing our notebook into pieces or making our new shoes muddy. As one grows up and life becomes more serious, feelings of anger may get more serious too. One might not be able to forget about unpleasant moments as easily as was possible in childhood, and reactions can sometimes be too hard and very damaging. That is why learning the art of self-control and learning how to deal with anger properly becomes most needed, particularly for youngsters, because they are going to start their lives as adults sooner or later and so should get to know the shoulds and should nots. Here are some guidelines to control your anger:

• To begin with, try to think about the things which make you angry. They can include: receiving an injury, hearing abusive words, facing aggressive conducts, being ridiculed, feeling neglected or ignored, losing or not having access to the desired object, and the like. Each of these things might make you feel angry and unhappy, while the fact is that, through practice and tolerance you will be able to overcome the bitterness and control yourselves, thus, reacting in a proper way. For example, when somebody at school says something bad to you or makes fun of you, you can show indifference instead of showing anger. Also, you need to remember that on many occasions we resent the others while, in fact, they had no intention of annoying us. As for losing or not getting what you like, the best way of controlling your feelings is to remember that such things are part of life and can happen to everyone, not just to you. Unfortunately, some even beat and/or hurt the others in moments of displeasure, while they could ‘take it like a man or a lady’ and behave maturely. This, of course, does not mean that one should remain calm and indifferent all the time and in all situations. Rather, in certain conditions, strong reactions are the only solutions. For example, if you see a bully doing something wrong to someone who is unable to defend him/herself you should feel concerned enough to do your best to stop the rude boy or girl from wrong-doing and from annoying others. These, of course, you should do through wise manners and without doing any unnecessary thing. For example, if you find that the bully will stop bullying if somebody rushes to stop him or her through words, you may not need to do other things. Anyway, remember that if your anger is out of good motives, such as defending your rights and the rights of others, you will, by God's will, get desirable results from it and likewise, if you get angry for selfish reasons, such as jealousy then you need to try to overcome it, otherwise you will not be able to have a healthy lifestyle. Regarding control of anger, we are advised in an Islamic saying (hadith) as: “Change your position whenever you get angry - sit down if you are standing, stand up and walk if you are seated….”

And really, dear youth! Always keep in mind a very significant fact, namely the fact that one needs to keep his/her heart pure and away from evil in order to be able to lead a fruitful life.