Bullying (part 3)

Compiled by HastiDanesh

The painful and bitter fact is that teasing and bullying are a normal part of the rough and tumble struggle for social status. We are hardwired with the compulsion to compete for belonging and status in our social groups which at certain sometimes goes too far. However, social teasing is more prevalent and, in some ways, more damaging than physical bullying. Keep the following tips in mind and practice them so the next time you face a bully or are caught in such an unpleasant situation, you will know how to act upon in.

1. Educate yourself. Educate yourself about the emotional dynamics of shame and anger as they apply to teasing and bullying. Shame is a normal and powerful emotion that is poorly understood. Understand the pain of shame and the compelling need to belong and feel secure in a group that can make even gentle children tease or bully others and can make even the most talented and likeable potential victims.

2. Control your Curiosity: Obviously when you spend time with your peer group, you might find yourself in unexpected, tricky and even threatening situations. It would be sensible to be cautious and careful and discover who the people around you really are. Be clever and don’t allow them dare you try new things just to prove your courage. Your health and decent behavior is far more important. There is no need to try things such as drugs for yourself or smoke in front of your friends to prove that you have grown up.

3. Teach Resilience skills. Be brave and experience new issues in life. For example be brave when going to the doctor and control your anxiety. Praise your own courage when you discover that you have the potential to master fear and shyness and try something difficult. Likewise, prepare to stand up and face the shame that is the bully's threat.

4. Talk it out. Find ways to talk about these painful emotions with your parents. Books, movies, and shared stories about your experience as a child as well as your own parent’s stories can provide opportunities to talk about what is happening and how you feel about it and what makes you concerned. Shame is an emotion that compels hiding and avoiding, so don’t shy away from expressing it at no cost. Open up about this serious problem and pursue it until it is solved out and your parents figure out a practical solution with the assistance of school authorities.